Weaning from boob to bottle

The decision to quit breastfeeding and to move my baby to formula was difficult enough, but searching for information and advice on how to wean  was almost just as hard.

The actual process of how to wean, how much formula to give and how often to feed was hard to track down. I got some basic information from a friend and sort of ‘winged it’ myself. And thankfully it all worked out.

But if you are looking for some help and advice to bring your baby from boob to bottle, I hope this information will help.

You should note that Abbey had received formula in SCBU from a bottle. And when I was breastfeeding I did pump extra milk and gave this bottle most nights - so we didn't have any issues with changing to an actual bottle. We used Aptamil 1 and Tommee Tippee Closer to nature bottles and Dr Brown's anti colic bottles.

Whatever your reason for stopping breastfeeding I would recommend you do it slowly, I have witnessed the pain mothers go through if they quit breastfeeding abruptly - it really is not worth it.

This is what worked for me and my baby (born 5 weeks premature, so weighed about 7.5lbs at six weeks).

The toughest part to work out is how much formula to give. Abbey would feed for about 20 mins a time. So I pumped for 20 minutes and got about 70ml - I know she was probably getting more, but it was a good indicator for me.

At six weeks old I started her off with one 30ml bottle at 3.30pm and then breastfed at 5pm. I found her to be quite hungry, so I knew to up it to 40ml the next day etc. By day four she was on 60ml twice a day the first at 12 noon and the next at 12am. She had one or two little vomits but was taking it well.

Moving on, I either upped the amount of the formula feed by 10ml or added another formula bottle every 3-4 days. This process really worked for us, breastfeeding in between bottle feeds was slow enough to not give me with any pain and she seemed to adjust perfectly.

It actually took me over 3 weeks to move her fully onto formula as she had been breastfeeding at least every three hours a day. Once she was on full formula we started to start the process of a sleep routine. 
We used Gina Ford’s Contented Little Baby and were delighted with the results. Review and details soon.

We did have some issues with colic a few weeks later, but this was down to her being in a pavlik harness. More on that soon!

If you weaned to formula, did you have any issues?

She needed my love more than my milk

When I was pregnant, I read a lot about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.

I quite like my boobs, so I wasn't too fond of the idea of having them battered and bruised, but the more I read about the benefits, and the more they swelled, I decided I wanted to give it a go - no pressure.

Abbey was in an incubator for a week and spent two weeks in SCBU

Pressure: The day after Abbey’s birth (5 weeks early) I was told quite bluntly that staring into her incubator was not going to help her, I needed to give her my milk.

My body was still in shock, I had not had any leaking beforehand so my boobs were not ready to deliver the precious milk. The lactation consultant showed me what to do, how to use my hand to manually express milk.

She makes me look huge and I make her look tiny!
Abbey in the hospital

Oh the pain, the searing pain, the hot tears on my face as I willed the milk to come. I used warm cloths to help bring the milk down and I squeezed and massaged and squeezed - there was no other option, I had to get my milk, my baby needed it.

My premature, underweight, tiny baby who had a cannula in her delicate little arm, who had wires on her monitoring her heart and her breathing. There was no time to catch up, to focus on healing post-surgery, on my weakness, on my upset or confusion, there was no time to think, I had to squeeze.

I don’t do pain, I don’t push through pain, sweat or tears, that just isn't me, but this wasn't about me.

My baby needed me and I needed to produce. After several hours, it came, the pain was severe but at last the sticky yellow substance (colostrum) appeared.

We bought a Medela Harmony breast pump for expressing

Once through, they reassured me more would come, I just needed to keep working at it. So I did, and slowly but surely I started to bring my baby 1ml, 3ml and 5ml of the yellow sticky substance that she needed. The nurses encouraged me, pushed me for more.

I felt so proud for getting it, for pushing past my limits to give her what she needed - but she needed more and I was exhausted.

Eventually they gave me the automatic pump. Oh that industrial hospital breast pump. Yes it took ages to get those tiny drips into the bottle, but it did come and the pain started to subside slowly - and as the pain eased, the substance started to change a milky colour.

We tried to breastfeed from the boob, but she was too small, it was too much work for her tiny mouth. The nurses pushed me, but I said no, my baby is hungry she needs my milk, but she doesn't have the energy, still with a cannula in her arm, still with beeps attached, I wanted to make her life as easy as I could, despite her difficult time.

“Put a tit on it, put it in the feeding tube - just get it into her,” I demanded.

On her fourth day, we started to breastfeed using a nipple shield - as it was easier for her to latch on to. But there were days when it was too distressing for both of us. She had very little patience so if she didn't get any milk after two of three tries she would get upset, which made me upset. At one week old, we were alternating between tube and expressed breast milk, to keep her energy up. At two weeks old I moved back into the hospital for three nights and we started breastfeeding again, because the nurses said full time expressing would be too much work.

She latched on using a nipple shield and fed every 3 hours  - perfect. Her weight returned to her birth (just 4.9lbs) and we got to bring her home.

At home during the day she could go two hours between feeds, but at night, she was still feeding almost every 90 mins. I was exhausted and emotional. I had to bring her into bed with me to get even 15 mins rest. I never took to breastfeeding, I certainly didn't enjoy it, I endured it - but it wore me down. I would cry at night when she cried. She was so much calmer when her father held her - and this made me upset. Despite all the help from my husband and family, I felt so alone, the weight of the responsibility bared down on me - she needs me, me alone to provide for her.

In the middle of all this Abbey had been born with a dislocated hip and needed to go to Temple Street Children’s Hospital in Dublin (2 hour drive away) every week for a check up, she was also put into a brace which made feeding much more awkward.

Abbey in Temple Street Hospital

I wasn't in pain, there were no latching problems and my baby was growing properly.
But I decided to quit breastfeeding after six weeks so I could love my baby.
I knew if I had stuck with it I would slip into some sort of depression. I was not enjoying my baby and I resented how calm she was with everyone else but me.
My little newborn who fought so hard to get out early and survive. My precious, beautiful tiny baby needed a happy mum, not a stressed one who was annoyed every time she cried.
I decided she needed my love more than my milk.

Having a cuddle after a night time bottle feed

As soon as I made the decision, I felt better. It took over 2 weeks to wean her onto formula. She loved it, she started to sleep better and became a little bit more content in herself. And I got to love her, to cuddle her, to watch her daddy feed her, to take a little step back and enjoy being a mother.

This is not a post against breastfeeding, I am pro breastfeeding, but it didn't work out for us. 
Quitting was the best adult decision I have ever made.

Would I breastfeed again? Absolutely.

Would I recommend you to breastfeed? I would advise you to try it, and to make the best decision for you, your baby and your family.

What was your experience of breastfeeding?

Bringing Home Baby

I was excited, scared, anxious, relieved and overwhelmed when we were allowed to bring our baby home. Our tiny little premature hero had spent two long weeks in the Special Care Baby Unit, she had been pumped with caffeine with antibiotics and had wires covering her body and had been watched every day for 24 hours be professionals.

I wanted her home, I wanted to be alone with her, I wanted to be her mother without supervision, but I was also daunted by the task. I had no experience with any babies, let alone a tiny 4.9lb premature newborn and neither did my husband.

Abbey in the incubator in SCBU

The drive home was slowest, bumpiest journey ever. How had I not noticed all the bumps, all the dangerous obstacles on the road, before now? My hubby felt a little overwhelmed having to safely deliver us home and  keep an eye on baby in the mirror. I probably should have sat in the back with her, as I was almost permanently looking behind me. But this was our first journey home and I wanted to share it with my husband up front.

When we arrived home and had safely brought Abbey inside to the sitting room, where a cosy fire was burning, she woke up for a good look around. It was all a little surreal - what do we do now?

Cup of tea, change her nappy, does she need more sleep, maybe I should try and feed her or should we just sit here and enjoy the moment? The lack of routine, the quiet chaos buzzed in my head.

Of course everyone wanted to meet the new addition to our family, but we had kindly asked that only grandparents visit on the first day, just to get her and ourselves settled in. The afternoon passed in a blur, a happy fog. She was feeding every 2.5 hours during the day but I quickly discovered the first night at home that she wanted to feed every hour.

But who needed sleep - I had my baby and we were home, we were a family and it was the most amazing feeling.

Here are my tips for bringing home baby, I will do a post on newborn essentials soon.

Bringing home baby

Abbey's first car ride home

The Must Haves

Yes babies need lots of stuff, but lets simplify the first few days at home - you will NEED a car seat, baby blankets, baby clothes, burp cloths, nappies, milk (boobs or bottles & steriliser) and a crib. Thats it for now.

Food

Get some family or friends to cook or leave in some food for you, you do not have the energy to even think about cooking for at least the first week. If you are a very organised person, freeze some meals in advance of your due date.

Visitors

Everyone wants to meet your new baby and they also want to congratulate the new parents and hear the war stories. This is exciting and fun, but my advise would be to limit visitors for the first few days. You need to get to know your baby, s/he needs to get to know you in this strange outside world. There is plenty of time to meet everyone - keep it limited to immediate family and friends for the first week.

Room Temperature

Winter or Summer, you baby needs to be in a neutral room temperature. S/he does not need the heating to be revved up, neither does baby need air conditioning. I do not like much heat at all, so to try and gauge the real temperature I wore just a vest and light trousers around the house, if I felt cold I put the heating up, if I felt very warm I turned it down.You baby needs to get used to their own environment.

Cards from well wishers

Routine

Some people start their newborn into a routine as soon as they get home, I don’t recommend that just yet, but do try to decide on a few things to help the transition. Turn down lights at night and speak softly, decide where the baby will take naps during the day and try to keep it constant. Change nappies in the same place, feed your baby in the same place - these are simple but effective in helping your baby to settle into your new home.

Putting my feet up, while Abbey sleeps on
her father!

Be Organised

You probably got a lot of information leaving the hospital, sort it out into what is important or what is just reading material. Have important phone numbers on hand, as well as your thermometer, put the info on check ups and vaccinations into a safe and accessible place - put reminders in your phone.

Get Comfy

You are home, in your own surroundings, make sure you are comfy. Get into your pyjamas! Try and sleep when the baby sleeps, if you cant sleep at least rest. If your partner or family can tidy up or clean the house, it will go a long way to helping you relax. Snuggle up with your baby, take in every little movement, smell and moment, enjoy this time.

Spread the love
The birth of your baby, bringing your tiny one home, getting settled in can all be very emotional, hectic and sometimes panicked. Your focus is on your baby and making sure they have everything they need, if things don't go as planned, you will get upset, angry and even irrational - This is normal! 
If you have a partner or even a loved one helping you out, try to remember to use the words please and thank you and when you have a quiet moment tell them 'I love you.' They are anxious too, they want everything to be perfect also embrace those around you, don't push them away.

Also check out:
Surviving the Special Car Unit
Premature and Tiny: Abbey Rose

Premature and Tiny: Abbey Rose

Abbey Rose was born on October 7, 2014 at 18.27 - five weeks early.

She weighed 4lbs 9oz, with a tiny head, tiny body, tiny everything with some red hair on top to add colour to her pale, fragile body.

She cried seconds after she was born, dispelling any worry about her lungs.

Abbey was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit to be checked out and was tube fed that night while I recovered from the Emergency Section. 

In the middle of the night, she held her breath and set off the alarm on the incubator. She did not have to be resuscitated, but it happened a few times afterwards so the doctors started to treat her for an infection, as they waited for her blood results to be analysed.

They first thought she might have an infection, which was why she was born five weeks early, but that was soon ruled out - she was born so early because she did not have enough room to grow.

Her bloods came back with no infection, so they decided she a form of infant sleep apnea- which is very common in premature babies.

Abbey spent two weeks in SCBU. Suffice to say it was tough - read more about surviving the SCBU here. It was heartbreaking being discharged from hospital, but leaving my baby behind. I thought it would get easier every day I visited, but the more I saw her and held her, the harder it got.

In those two weeks she lost weight and regained it, she was put on caffeine to stimulate her brain, and it worked, the apnea seizures, which only ever happened at night started to become less frequent and then stopped altogether.

My breastfeeding journey will need a separate post, if not a few, but short story is she was too small and weak to feed from the breast initially, so I pumped milk and she was partly tube fed, partly bottle fed for the first two weeks in hospital.

She was in an incubator for the first 10 days, she had a drip for the first week and was attached to an apnea monitor which meant she had a few wires on her. She was a week old, before she had her first babygrow on - size premature.

She also had issues with her hips, the first few days her heels were up at her head, so it was obvious that they were 'dislocatable.' She was later found to have a dislocated right hip and a shallow/clicking left hip which needed correction.

But at two weeks old, she was breastfeeding from the boob, had gained weight and had got over her apnea, we got to bring her home and that was one of the best feelings in the world, as well as overwhelmingly terrifying!

Also check out: Five weeks early - My funny scary birth story
Surviving the Special Care Baby unit
The last leg: The Third Trimester

Five weeks early - My scary funny birth story

Everybody’s labour and birth story is special. Our baby’s birth can leave us scarred mentally and physically, some move on quickly others linger over the details. There are two words to describe the birth my baby Scary and Funny.

Those two don’t usually go together, but with some hindsight they apply to my story.

Our beautiful baby

At my 35 week hospital check up, I had been sent home on strict bed rest due to high blood pressure. I woke up the next morning looking forward to planning out the rest of my relaxed maternity, but there was no time for that, as my waters broke.

Saying goodbye to our dog Wally

Well, I wasn't sure if my waters broke because in the movie people are ALWAYS standing up when their waters break. I was lying in bed. I wasn't in any pain, but after a few minutes on the toilet, with no let up of said waters, we came to the conclusion my waters had broken. *Funny*

As I wasn't in any pain, and there had been no 'show', I was in no hurry to the hospital (I did call ahead) I showered, packed the last few bits and said goodbye to our dog Wally before heading off into the unknown. I had to stop my husband from making me laugh and weeing myself on the 35 minute journey to the hospital, but we did laugh the whole way there with excitement. *Funny*

At the hospital around lunchtime, they confirmed my waters had broken, but assured me that I was not in labour after monitoring the baby’s heart rate. They gave me a steroid injection for the baby’s lungs, another one would be administered in 24 hours. The doctor told me that they would try and keep me from going into labour for at least another week.

The fitted a cannula in my arm (OMG that was soooo painful) and sent me off to the ward.

I had been feeling light “cramps”, sort of like period cramps, but tried to ignore them since I was not in labour. A few hours later, these cramps got worse. I also had a huge urge to do a number two - but try as I might nothing was happening there! When dinner came around, I thought I might try a bite, and in between severe ‘cramps’ that were now taking my breath, I polished off quite a bit of stew. *Funny*

Checking baby's movement after my waters broke

 When a nurse did appear I said I would like to be checked again, she brought me down to the Labour Ward (in disbelief) and I was checked first by a young doctor and then by my consultant who announced I was 5cm dilated. When they asked what time I last ate and I told them "a few minutes ago” they almost collapsed. *Funny*

That was the end of the funnies, as baby was breached, I was quickly prepared for an emergency section. I signed my life away, got the plastic gown on and was wheeled away from my husband. In between what I now know to be labour pain, I was given the spinal and prepped for surgery. *Scary*

They started to cut me before my husband entered the room, and I felt every bit of it. Obviously I was not in pain, but I couldn't believe the feeling of them slicing me open layer by layer, I almost hopped off the table as they pulled and tugged inside me. It felt like they took out every piece of me before they found the baby. I was petrified. *Scary*

First picture with my baby

When they did pull out my baby, I held my breath for what seemed like minutes, but was really only seconds before she cried. And then I cried. A girl, our baby girl, our daughter. Abbey Rose.

I cried with happiness and relief, I cried with shock and amazement and I also cried for the unknown. At 35 weeks, would she be ok, had she grown enough, could she survive? They placed her on my chest for two minutes and she was perfect.

But then they were gone, my baby and my husband. She had to be fully checked and my hubby had to go with her. I wanted him to be with her, but I also wanted him to be with me. Because I was still scared. *Scary*

Our baby had to spend two weeks in hospital in the Special Care Baby Unit, to gain weight and to be monitored. *Scary*


Also Check out:
Premature and Tiny: Abbey Rose
Surviving the Special Care Unit
The last leg: The Third Trimester

Useful and Useless - Pregnancy Products

Babies are big business, and so are the pregnant mamas carrying them. Companies know this and tired, emotional and irrational pregnant women (like myself) are targeted with a whole host of products that are a “must.” But they are not.

Here are my list of Useful and Useless pregnancy products:

USEFUL

Body pillow

Boy oh boy, was this is really a must. Not just the body pillow, but loads of pillows! I didn't get a pregnancy curvy snake, I got my body pillow from Lidl, it was less than €20 and worth oh so much more! It will come in useful even after baby is born.

Prenatal vitamins

These were fantastic, I really think they helped me throughout my pregnancy. I had a really bad cold/ sinus infection in the first few weeks of my pregnancy, but had no other sickness throughout. We all know good nutrition is important during pregnancy for baby and mum, but on days when I craved sugar or was too lazy to cook a good meal I felt safe in the knowledge some good vitamins were rattling around me! I used Pregnacare Plus which had an omega 3 capsule included.

Olay Total Effects 7 in 1 and serum duo

You need to moisturise daily, also there is serum to think about it and a million other things to put on your face before you even think about slapping on foundation. This product claims to help with seven of these issues like fine lines, dull skin, blemishes etc. For the small price you know it won’t do miracles, but I did find it to be a quick and easy product that did help balance out my skin.

Maxfactor Dream Matte Mousse

This is a dream product for all busy women. I picked it up with no real expectations, but it really is a fantastic product. Towards the end of your pregnancy, you feel pretty big and crap and a 15 minute make up routine goes out the window. I'm not saying this will cover up all your skin flaws, but it is easy to apply with your fingers, glides on and gives pretty decent coverage, without the need for powders. Perfect for hospital photos after baby’s birth or for the weeks at home with a newborn, when people come to visit.

Comfortable clothes

Stock up on PJs, if I said it once, ill say it again. Look good in lounge wear. Comfy shoes, comfy maternity bra, comfy clothes. Comfort is the key. Sketcher shoes can really help tired and aching feet.

USELESS

Bio Oil

Hated this. It is way too expensive and for me it was a no go. I have since realised I do not like oils - I don’t like the feel of it on my skin, or even my baby’s skin. Yes moisturise, as much as you can but I don’t think anything is going to work miracles on your stretch marks. Sadly it is genetic, if your mother had stretch marks, then you will too. I actually didn't get any on my tummy, but a few on my boobs! I did love Palmers Coco Butter firming lotion - yummy smell, quick absorption.

Clothes extenders

They just didn't work for me, I needed a big belly band to go over my bump. It also was fidgety and uncomfortable. So a big no.

Pregnancy announcements

I didn't do this, because I live in Ireland and would be laughed at as well as probably cursed! You know you are having a baby, tell your family and friends. Everyone else can find out when they actually see the little beauty! Also no one wants to see a picture of the stick you peed on...

Unborn baby music

You will be listening to nursery rhymes and lullabies for long enough when your baby is born right up to they go to school, play the music you like for as long as you can! Plenty of time for baby to grow accustomed to Mozart!

A book of names

Baby names - how the hell do you pick one? I was stuck on girl names, we just couldn't agree on one we liked. Did we sit through a book and go from A-Z … um no that is a crazy thought. We looked in newspapers, magazines, listened to the radio and finally agreed upon the name. Maybe borrow one from the library if you must!

Also check out:
Maternity Wear Essentials
The last leg: The Third Trimester
What a pain in the pelvis
12 things to do in the second trimester

The last leg: The third trimester

I have for a long time battled with the idea of becoming a woman. Not an adult - a woman.

When do we transform from being girls to women - is it turning 18, 21 maybe, finishing college, working full time, making a home, getting married?

I have now decided that before you can become a mother, you must first become a woman.

My definition of a woman has changed as the years go by, but I now think it has nothing to do with being grown up or wise, it is about strength.

A woman is strong mentally and physically, she has experienced ups and downs and knows how to soldier through. A woman knows her priorities, she puts her family first and herself second. She looks at the bigger picture. A woman is determined.

I realised in my third trimester I was not a woman yet, but I had to become one.

Swollen ankles at 33 weeks pregnant

Pain

So you might have guessed I found this trimester tough! I was in a lot of pain, mainly with my pelvic girdle pain (or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction SPD), but also with swollen ankles, tummy upsets and general ‘heavily pregnant’ issues. The physical pain, also brought with it a lot of self pity parties.

From about 32 weeks, the pain did ease in my pelvis.

Big baby

So my bump was big, everyone commented on it.

On a trip to the doctor to see if I had a blood cloth in my leg (blame google) he felt my tummy and said that my baby felt very big. When I returned for another check up, he said the baby was so big I would need a c-section. I started reflexology to help ease the pain of my SPD, but quit after spending an evening in floods of tears when the reflexologist asked me if I was having twins and when I said no, told me if I went full term my baby would be 12lbs!! Who tells a first time mother that?! I was scared and so upset, I blamed myself for eating too much and had a complete melt down. 

(Spoiler alert: They were wrong!)

Baby shopping

I had started my baby list in the middle of the second trimester, after I was diagnosed with SPD. The threat of crutches and or bed rest played on my mind and the organised person I am wanted to get everything I needed before I was unable to do so. I did pick up the last few bits early in my third trimester. I will do a post on newborn essentials soon.

Gender

I really wanted to know if my baby was a boy or girl. I had no preference, but I wanted to know. From our very first scan up to the scan at 35 weeks I asked about gender, but did not get an answer. Our mysterious baby decided early on in the game to not only get into the breech position but also to face towards me, like hugging me, so we could not get a clear picture of the genitals. It was frustrating, but obviously not a big deal.

Movements

Her unique comfy position, as well as my bicornurate uterus resulted in very few baby kicks. I felt the baby every day, but no where near the recommended 10 kicks a day. For some reason (despite google!) I was not worried, I felt the baby every day and just knew everything was ok. But midwives and doctors did not feel the same way, so I had a lot of check ups in my last few weeks.

34 weeks pregnant on the non-stress test

High blood pressure

At my 34 week hospital appointment, they found my blood pressure very high. The high BP and the small amount of baby movement caused some concern so they kept me overnight to monitor. It was strange staying in hospital for the first time in my 29 years, especially when I felt perfectly fine. They put me on a non-stress test to monitor the baby’s heart rate and checked my blood pressure every three hours. I was discharged the next morning as my BP had come down, but I was sent home to rest and to finish up at work.

Four days later, I had another hospital check up, I was put on the non-stress test for 30 minutes and my blood pressure was monitored, this time my BP was a little low and they said I was a bit dehydrated!

At 35 weeks I was back again for a  hospital appointment, BP was high again but I pleaded to be sent home on bed rest. Hospitals are no fun! I was sent home under strict instructions to report any faintness, dizziness or lack of movement.

My third trimester finished at 35 weeks.

Continue the story here at Five weeks early: my scary funny birth story !!

Also check out:
The Ultrasound: Baby's first picture
The honeymoon of pregnancy: The Second Trimester
What a pain in the pelvis!