Weaning from boob to bottle

The decision to quit breastfeeding and to move my baby to formula was difficult enough, but searching for information and advice on how to wean  was almost just as hard.

The actual process of how to wean, how much formula to give and how often to feed was hard to track down. I got some basic information from a friend and sort of ‘winged it’ myself. And thankfully it all worked out.

But if you are looking for some help and advice to bring your baby from boob to bottle, I hope this information will help.

You should note that Abbey had received formula in SCBU from a bottle. And when I was breastfeeding I did pump extra milk and gave this bottle most nights - so we didn't have any issues with changing to an actual bottle. We used Aptamil 1 and Tommee Tippee Closer to nature bottles and Dr Brown's anti colic bottles.

Whatever your reason for stopping breastfeeding I would recommend you do it slowly, I have witnessed the pain mothers go through if they quit breastfeeding abruptly - it really is not worth it.

This is what worked for me and my baby (born 5 weeks premature, so weighed about 7.5lbs at six weeks).

The toughest part to work out is how much formula to give. Abbey would feed for about 20 mins a time. So I pumped for 20 minutes and got about 70ml - I know she was probably getting more, but it was a good indicator for me.

At six weeks old I started her off with one 30ml bottle at 3.30pm and then breastfed at 5pm. I found her to be quite hungry, so I knew to up it to 40ml the next day etc. By day four she was on 60ml twice a day the first at 12 noon and the next at 12am. She had one or two little vomits but was taking it well.

Moving on, I either upped the amount of the formula feed by 10ml or added another formula bottle every 3-4 days. This process really worked for us, breastfeeding in between bottle feeds was slow enough to not give me with any pain and she seemed to adjust perfectly.

It actually took me over 3 weeks to move her fully onto formula as she had been breastfeeding at least every three hours a day. Once she was on full formula we started to start the process of a sleep routine. 
We used Gina Ford’s Contented Little Baby and were delighted with the results. Review and details soon.

We did have some issues with colic a few weeks later, but this was down to her being in a pavlik harness. More on that soon!

If you weaned to formula, did you have any issues?

Not due yet, but one month old!

Abbey spent half of her first month in hospital, the other half at home - but she really should have spent it in the womb as she wasn’t due out yet!

One month old, Abbey has her brace on under her padded dress

She had a hectic first month and although looking back it seems to have gone in a flash, I know that to be untrue, the nights were long, very long.

Smiles already or polite wind?!

At three weeks old, she shed her still small  premature clothes and became a much larger baby with a whole body harness for her dislocated hips. Just when we thought we knew how to change her nappy, the game changed, she now had to wear two nappies, interwoven around a large square brace. Despite the chore, she seemed comfy and content in the brace.

Now not only was she tiny, but she was also awkward. We couldn't hold her like a newborn cuddled into the crook of our arms, she was either flat down or up on our shoulder. She seemed to like the height, so she spent most of her time perched on our shoulders.

We tried to not hold her all the time, but she developed a hatred for her cosy and warm Moses basket. A calm sleepy baby became erratic one we laid her down in it. After trying tilting the basket, moving it into a dark room, a bright room , swaddling, not swaddling we found the solution.

Our solution is not recommended - by anyone, especially health officials. But the only way we could get her to sleep was to put her lying on her tummy. We have learned since that babies are spoiled in SCBU as they are allowed to sleep on their tummies as nurses are constantly checking them. A SCBU nurse did tell me while we were there that lying a baby on his/her tummy aids digestion.

Sleeping on mummy ... on her tummy

I was scared when we first tried it, but also relieved. After nervously telling our family, both my mother and my husband’s mum revealed we had slept on our tummies as babies (I still do) and that it was the recommended advice in the 80s.

So we checked on her more often than a sane person should, but she slept soundly, maybe it was the brace, maybe it was genetics - or maybe it was Abbey’s way.

There was no routine at one month, she fed from my breast about 2.5 hours during the day and every 90mins or so at night. Some days were better than others, but it was a sea of exhaustion and newborn cries.

Thankfully we did limit visitors as she had not had any of her vaccinations, so despite the difficulties it did give us a chance to get to know our new family member and she seemed to warm to us!
She is opening her eyes for longer and longer each day, loves being talked to and loves sleeping on her daddy!

She needed my love more than my milk

When I was pregnant, I read a lot about pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.

I quite like my boobs, so I wasn't too fond of the idea of having them battered and bruised, but the more I read about the benefits, and the more they swelled, I decided I wanted to give it a go - no pressure.

Abbey was in an incubator for a week and spent two weeks in SCBU

Pressure: The day after Abbey’s birth (5 weeks early) I was told quite bluntly that staring into her incubator was not going to help her, I needed to give her my milk.

My body was still in shock, I had not had any leaking beforehand so my boobs were not ready to deliver the precious milk. The lactation consultant showed me what to do, how to use my hand to manually express milk.

She makes me look huge and I make her look tiny!
Abbey in the hospital

Oh the pain, the searing pain, the hot tears on my face as I willed the milk to come. I used warm cloths to help bring the milk down and I squeezed and massaged and squeezed - there was no other option, I had to get my milk, my baby needed it.

My premature, underweight, tiny baby who had a cannula in her delicate little arm, who had wires on her monitoring her heart and her breathing. There was no time to catch up, to focus on healing post-surgery, on my weakness, on my upset or confusion, there was no time to think, I had to squeeze.

I don’t do pain, I don’t push through pain, sweat or tears, that just isn't me, but this wasn't about me.

My baby needed me and I needed to produce. After several hours, it came, the pain was severe but at last the sticky yellow substance (colostrum) appeared.

We bought a Medela Harmony breast pump for expressing

Once through, they reassured me more would come, I just needed to keep working at it. So I did, and slowly but surely I started to bring my baby 1ml, 3ml and 5ml of the yellow sticky substance that she needed. The nurses encouraged me, pushed me for more.

I felt so proud for getting it, for pushing past my limits to give her what she needed - but she needed more and I was exhausted.

Eventually they gave me the automatic pump. Oh that industrial hospital breast pump. Yes it took ages to get those tiny drips into the bottle, but it did come and the pain started to subside slowly - and as the pain eased, the substance started to change a milky colour.

We tried to breastfeed from the boob, but she was too small, it was too much work for her tiny mouth. The nurses pushed me, but I said no, my baby is hungry she needs my milk, but she doesn't have the energy, still with a cannula in her arm, still with beeps attached, I wanted to make her life as easy as I could, despite her difficult time.

“Put a tit on it, put it in the feeding tube - just get it into her,” I demanded.

On her fourth day, we started to breastfeed using a nipple shield - as it was easier for her to latch on to. But there were days when it was too distressing for both of us. She had very little patience so if she didn't get any milk after two of three tries she would get upset, which made me upset. At one week old, we were alternating between tube and expressed breast milk, to keep her energy up. At two weeks old I moved back into the hospital for three nights and we started breastfeeding again, because the nurses said full time expressing would be too much work.

She latched on using a nipple shield and fed every 3 hours  - perfect. Her weight returned to her birth (just 4.9lbs) and we got to bring her home.

At home during the day she could go two hours between feeds, but at night, she was still feeding almost every 90 mins. I was exhausted and emotional. I had to bring her into bed with me to get even 15 mins rest. I never took to breastfeeding, I certainly didn't enjoy it, I endured it - but it wore me down. I would cry at night when she cried. She was so much calmer when her father held her - and this made me upset. Despite all the help from my husband and family, I felt so alone, the weight of the responsibility bared down on me - she needs me, me alone to provide for her.

In the middle of all this Abbey had been born with a dislocated hip and needed to go to Temple Street Children’s Hospital in Dublin (2 hour drive away) every week for a check up, she was also put into a brace which made feeding much more awkward.

Abbey in Temple Street Hospital

I wasn't in pain, there were no latching problems and my baby was growing properly.
But I decided to quit breastfeeding after six weeks so I could love my baby.
I knew if I had stuck with it I would slip into some sort of depression. I was not enjoying my baby and I resented how calm she was with everyone else but me.
My little newborn who fought so hard to get out early and survive. My precious, beautiful tiny baby needed a happy mum, not a stressed one who was annoyed every time she cried.
I decided she needed my love more than my milk.

Having a cuddle after a night time bottle feed

As soon as I made the decision, I felt better. It took over 2 weeks to wean her onto formula. She loved it, she started to sleep better and became a little bit more content in herself. And I got to love her, to cuddle her, to watch her daddy feed her, to take a little step back and enjoy being a mother.

This is not a post against breastfeeding, I am pro breastfeeding, but it didn't work out for us. 
Quitting was the best adult decision I have ever made.

Would I breastfeed again? Absolutely.

Would I recommend you to breastfeed? I would advise you to try it, and to make the best decision for you, your baby and your family.

What was your experience of breastfeeding?

Premature and Tiny: Abbey Rose

Abbey Rose was born on October 7, 2014 at 18.27 - five weeks early.

She weighed 4lbs 9oz, with a tiny head, tiny body, tiny everything with some red hair on top to add colour to her pale, fragile body.

She cried seconds after she was born, dispelling any worry about her lungs.

Abbey was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit to be checked out and was tube fed that night while I recovered from the Emergency Section. 

In the middle of the night, she held her breath and set off the alarm on the incubator. She did not have to be resuscitated, but it happened a few times afterwards so the doctors started to treat her for an infection, as they waited for her blood results to be analysed.

They first thought she might have an infection, which was why she was born five weeks early, but that was soon ruled out - she was born so early because she did not have enough room to grow.

Her bloods came back with no infection, so they decided she a form of infant sleep apnea- which is very common in premature babies.

Abbey spent two weeks in SCBU. Suffice to say it was tough - read more about surviving the SCBU here. It was heartbreaking being discharged from hospital, but leaving my baby behind. I thought it would get easier every day I visited, but the more I saw her and held her, the harder it got.

In those two weeks she lost weight and regained it, she was put on caffeine to stimulate her brain, and it worked, the apnea seizures, which only ever happened at night started to become less frequent and then stopped altogether.

My breastfeeding journey will need a separate post, if not a few, but short story is she was too small and weak to feed from the breast initially, so I pumped milk and she was partly tube fed, partly bottle fed for the first two weeks in hospital.

She was in an incubator for the first 10 days, she had a drip for the first week and was attached to an apnea monitor which meant she had a few wires on her. She was a week old, before she had her first babygrow on - size premature.

She also had issues with her hips, the first few days her heels were up at her head, so it was obvious that they were 'dislocatable.' She was later found to have a dislocated right hip and a shallow/clicking left hip which needed correction.

But at two weeks old, she was breastfeeding from the boob, had gained weight and had got over her apnea, we got to bring her home and that was one of the best feelings in the world, as well as overwhelmingly terrifying!

Also check out: Five weeks early - My funny scary birth story
Surviving the Special Care Baby unit
The last leg: The Third Trimester