Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Jellyfish salad - my revenge

It came into conversation a few weeks back, I hate Jellyfish, they have ruined my life and I need to extract revenge on them – they must die.
My sentiments are not unwarranted, I have good reason to feel this way about those 'things', I have actually been suppressing my feelings for years now.

Revenge is a harmful action against a person or group (or jellyfish) in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived.

The story:
At the very innocent age of seven, when all things were magical and beautiful and what my parents said was gospel, I went on a family holiday to Bundoran, Co Donegal.
It was all going swimmingly until I went swimming at Rossnowlagh Beach. It was a glorious day, in the days when the Sun visited Ireland during the Summer, I had a spade and a shovel and life was grand.
Into the water I splashed. “Look at me” I cheered to my adoring parents.
Step, jump, up and down I bobbed on the small waves.
Then “squish” down went my tiny little foot onto an evil, dangerous and spiteful jellyfish. I didn't mean to touch it, I just wanted to play, I didn't even see it. But the jellyfish didn't care.
The sting ran up my foot, the pain was something I had never experienced before.

The stinging cells are triggered by an object touching a microscopic hair. This hair triggers the cell to squeeze violently, ejecting a hollow thread that penetrates the victim's skin and injects poison.

My father came rushing over, tears streamed down my face. I felt sick, I got sick and still the pain echoed through me.
“Why me” I would have pondered if I wasn't too busy screaming in pain.
It eased after a few hours, but the scar stayed with me forever. That evening I discovered a hearty appetite (yep I blame the jellyfish) because before then food was a disruption to my busy playful life.
And as a result of this fine appetite I have grown accustomed to, comes my idea for sweet revenge. 
Because “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

For cooking jellyfish you have to first soak the jellyfish overnight in the refrigerator. The best way to cut the jellyfish is to roll up the flesh and slice it, so that you get thin julienne strips. These strips are then to be blanched. The blanching can be repeated one more time (it is sooo evil), after which you drain off all the water.
Now you can marinate these pieces with the seasoning of your choice, like vinegar, salt, spices and so on, and then add them to salads, or vegetables or other sea-food dishes. After mixing the seasoning the marinating process should be done in the refrigerator. Usually the juices which collect after marinating, are to be discarded as they might have harmful bacteria.
Recipes include: Jellyfish sushi, burgers, stew, salad, satay and stir fry.

Satay Jellyfish - www.rasamalazia.com
Meet more like minded people on: Revenge on those dumbass Jellyfish that sting for no reason Facebook page!


  1. Hahaha, that's hilarious!! NOT your pain - but the form your revenge took!! I hope you didn't catch up with the deadly Irukandji (or Box Jellyfish) when you were downunder - and somehow, I don't think I'd risk eating its toxic flesh. But the satay above actually looks quite appetising! Now ... all I have to do is find a restaurant that serves it :D

    1. Ha ha, yes revenge is sweet. Jellyfish is a delicacy in some countries, I just need to introduce it to Ireland!