Surviving the Special Care Unit

When your baby is admitted to the Special Care Baby Unit or Neonatal Unit it is difficult, it is confusing and it is upsetting, but you have to figure your way around this new and unexpected world.

I say surviving the Special Care Baby Unit, because that is all you can do. You can’t plan for tomorrow or next week, you must survive the day. You must push through the set backs, the continuous tests, the temporary diagnosis, the daily weigh ins and all the foreign bodies poking into your baby. 
Because this is the best place for your baby.

Abbey in the incubator

Your baby

I am sure for any first time mother, it is difficult to comprehend that this perfect being in your arms is your baby. But if you are forced to look in at your tiny bundle, to stand by when they are crying or upset when all you want to do is cuddle, to hold, to care for your baby, but you can’t, then you really do feel detached.

She is my baby, despite the wires and monitors, the drip and the feeding tube, she is mine.

Ask - ask what you can do, ask if you can help. The nurses in Cavan General Hospital SCBU were angels, they had so much patience and kindness for my questions, for my requests for skin to skin and for my distress. Take control of what ever you can - for me it was to provide breast milk, that was my "job." More on breastfeeding soon.

Get Support

Like with any new born baby, you need the support of everyone around you, family, friends and neighbours. For me it was getting lifts to and from the hospital, getting nappies, clothes, having meals cooked at home etc. Delegate some one to answer all the well meaning questions, and to inform well wishers to keep their distance.You do not need to hear the question “When is she getting home” 

twenty times a day when you just don’t know.

Visiting times

The visiting rule in Cavan SCBU allowed only for parents and I have to say I was happy with that. I got to spend so little time in contact with my baby, I really didn't need to be sharing that time with anyone other than my husband. If your hospital doesn't have this rule, work out short visiting times for immediate family.

Your Partner

I can’t imagine what the experience of SCBU was like for my husband. I didn't have time to think about him, but looking back now I realise it must have been hell. At least I could provide breast milk - I could do something. The majority of the time she was handed to me for skin to skin, as he was left looking on. I know when I was discharged from hospital, he was delighted to have me home, and all I could do was cry. It is only now I see how soul destroying that was for him. The only thing I can advise is talk, save all your thoughts and news for him. Talk about the news, pictures on Facebook, about the hospital car park - just talk!

Our little glow bug - the wires were monitoring her breathing

Get Out
After the first week in SCBU, I took an hour and a half every day to have lunch and walk around the hospital. Sometimes I called my friends during that walk or I just enjoyed walking - without being in pain (I had suffered pelvic pain). Fresh air does help to clear your mind.

Go Home

The hardest and best decision I made was to leave the hospital after I was discharged. If I had pushed hard enough and kicked up a fuss, I could have got special accommodation beside the SCBU, but at that time we didn't know when she would get home, we had been warned it could be a month and the nurses advised that a month in hospital would drive me nuts. I went home each night and actually got some rest in my own bed, in my Pyjamas with my husband. I needed it so I could be 100% when I was with our baby. Before she came home I spent a weekend with abbey in the hospital accommodation.

You

It was amazing to finally put clothes on our little baby

I remember taking pain killers every day, but that is my only recollection of my post-partum body. I was too busy pumping milk, calling the ward, driving to and from the hospital and pacing the ward. I did make sure to walk outside every day, to eat lunch and to sleep at night. To be honest I could have rested more, it might have helped with bringing her home. But all new mothers are victims of not resting enough.

Items of distraction

I would have called them entertainment, but when your baby is in an incubator wired up, you will not be entertained. Music, a book, magazine, internet and portable games can keep you distracted though.

Focus on your baby

This is obvious right? Well as you search for a distraction from your own situation, sometimes parents can get talking to other parents in SCBU. You ask about other babies and this can have a negative effect. If other babies are doing better than yours, it can put added weight to your situation, visa versa a positive step for your little one can be overshadowed by a set back for another baby you have gotten to know. The advice is cruel, but stick to your own baby’s welfare. Be nice and talk to other parents, but keep it general.

Free from wires and tubes and heading home

Stay informed

A week into our SCBU experience after numerous tests and diagnosis we learned that Abbey had sleep apnea, which was caused by her premature birth. She just needed time to catch up, she needed to grow bigger and stronger, her mind needed to focus on the art of breathing. We were assured that once the caffeine started to work and she got a few incident free nights under her belt, it would not be a reoccurring issue.  We knew what to focus on - she had to store as much energy as possible to grow stronger and put on weight. She needed the feeding tube as bottle and breastfeeding was taking too much energy from her frail little body. Putting clothes on her would also take up energy, over cleaning took up energy. We understood this and so it was easier to see her with the tube, the wires which monitored her breathing, the drip for the caffeine and just a nappy on. Make sure the medical team explain simply the procedures and diagnosis for your baby.

As I have said before, we were very lucky that Abbey only had to spend two weeks in SCBU, before she was discharged. She has been thriving since.

Also check out:

Premature and tiny: Abbey Rose

Five weeks Early - My scary funny birth story

What a pain in the pelvis!

First maternity hospital visit

The first pregnancy hospital appointment is a big one, you are nervous, excited and don’t know what to expect.

My first visit  to Cavan General Hospital was at 17 weeks, we chose the public maternity route (which is FREE in Ireland). I had only been to my doctor prior and thankfully had not needed to visit the hospital until then.

Cavan General Hospital. Image from www.anglocelt.ie

So what should you expect? - A long wait. On our first hospital appointment, we were there for almost 3 hours!

First up was the ultrasound, the images were blurry but the technician seemed to see what she was looking for. In relation to my strange uterus, she said she could see one womb with a separation down the middle which was a “possible bicornuate uterus.” We asked about gender, but she said she couldn’t be sure … but we would know at our next scan.

She said that my uterus situation may become clearer as the pregnancy progresses or we may have to wait until after birth to find out the true situation.

Then came my first visit with the midwife, I know many people are lucky to see the same midwife the whole way through their pregnancy, but this was not the case in Cavan.

She measured my height and weight, she took the blood tests my doctor did and I was sent to get one more blood test.

Then the questions came. My husband came with me to the hospital, but aside from the ultrasound he may as well have stayed at home, because he had to just wait by himself.

I think the purpose of not having your partner in there is so that you answer the questions honestly!

The midwife asked a million questions about my medical history, my husband’s and our families. I couldn't be 100% sure for all the questions relating to our families but answered in relation to our immediate family. There were a lot of questions about alcohol, smoke and drug use. She also asked if there had been any violence in our relationship.

After what seemed like hours, she said I was very healthy and would have been categorised as low risk pregnancy only for my unknown womb situation. As a low risk patient I could have opted for the midwifery led unit, which is supposed to be a nicer experience but it would rule out the use of epidural or drug based pain relief during labour. I also think there are less ultrasound scans using that unit.

It being my first pregnancy and as I was unsure what exactly my womb was at, I was happier to have a consultant led pregnancy.

I was born with a clicking hip, so the midwife made a note of that and the baby will be assessed for that issue after birth.

Breastfeeding was also a big conversation. I was unsure of my feelings about breastfeeding at the time, but said I would like to breastfeed if only for a few weeks. I was send home with a lot of literature to read and told my next hospital appointment was in four weeks time.

At my second hospital visit, I brought a urine sample. My blood pressure was tested and I met a doctor under my consultant. The doctor said my baby was growing on target and there was no sign of “another womb” on the ultrasound. There was also no sign of gender … next scan will show “for definite.”

After doing a lot of googling and trawling through forums at home, I had a lot of questions for the doctor, such as will I go into premature labour, can I have a vaginal birth etc.

The doctor said she saw no issue with my pregnancy and birth being normal, which annoyed me a little as we had no idea if it could be normal because we didn't know what shape or position my womb was!

For your first hospital visit:

- Try and go alone, it is a long wait for your partner/ friend

- Schedule a lot of time, such as the whole morning or afternoon

- Have a rough idea of your family history

- Expect you may have to give a blood sample

- Make a list of any questions you have and bring it with you

Check out: The honeymoon of pregnancy: The Second Trimester

***This post relates to June 2014***

The Honeymoon of Pregnancy: The second trimester

The second trimester is really the honeymoon of the pregnancy journey. You have passed the first test - getting through the first 12 weeks and you begin to come to terms with your bundle, getting to know s/he, feeling movement, dreaming about the future and getting comfortable before the impatience, frustrations and pains set in!

Heading to a wedding at 13 weeks pregnant

The second trimester greeted me with a little boost of energy, which I lavished in until about 20 weeks, when I once again had to take to bed for early evening cat naps after work.

My weight gain over the first 12 weeks was about 5lbs, but by the end of the second trimester I had piled on a stone.

At the start a little back pain, stretch aches and some sleep disturbance was met with intrigue, but as time slipped by I was plagued by pain cause by Smphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD). At 4 months pregnant, I was starting to look the part and by 5 months I was moving into bigger sized and looser clothes with some maternity items on board.

I had no particular cravings, I just loved all food and wanted more! The only food aversion I had was to coffee - which really was a good thing. At a wedding, I took a glass of wine with the dinner but I had no desire for alcohol.

Baby kicks - what a wonderful moment it is when you start feeling those first flutters. They are hard to explain, but felt like popcorn popping inside! As time goes on the kicks felt like a slight muscle spasm. I remember feeling as if the baby was leaning to one side, and getting a strange ‘stretch’ feeling on my left side … which would become more apparent later!

On honeymoon in Greece

I had my first two hospital visits in the second trimester, which I will write more about later. In between the visits I also went away on a late honeymoon … a sort of babymoon, details here. We went on a Greek Island cruise and it was soo relaxing - a short trip away during your pregnancy is very much recommended.

At around 20 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with smphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD), I was in a lot of pain, had to take time off work and started to see a special maternity physio in hospital once a week. During the peak of my SPD pain, I went on a buying spree for baby. It felt necessary as the threat of crutches or bed rest towards the end of my pregnancy was looming. Buying baby stuff was tooo much fun, a little stressful, but a very happy time.

I took up pregnancy yoga at around 16 weeks, it was fantastic as a way to relax and prepare for labour but agitated my SPD as the weeks went on.

20 weeks pregnant

My husband and I started to drift further and further apart …. ha ha - only in the sense that our bed was now totally taken over with pillows!! I had to have one in front of me, one behind me and one between my legs - but it did help me sleep!

I had two very scary moments during my second trimester, one was a showing of brown discharge and the other was a horrific trip to the dentist. The brown discharge, turned out to be “nothing”, I attended the doctor and heard the baby’s heartbeat and it was clear in a day. The doctor explained that it was probably ‘marginal placental bleed’ which is harmless and is caused by a burst blood vessel from my placenta or my placenta moving into place. I was told to rest and to return to the doctor if I saw any fresh blood or had cramping. My advise if you get any strange colouring down there, see your doctor, if only for the peace of mind.

24 weeks pregnant

My trip to the dentist was the worst day of my entire pregnancy. My gums were bleeding a lot so I went to get a check up and get my teeth cleaned. It was nothing short of TORTURE. I was so scared and in pain the whole way through, I thought it would never end. The only reason I didn't stop the dentist, was I kept thinking about labour, how I will be in so much more pain - so I let her go on, with no pain relief. My gums were left black and they bled for 24 hours afterwards. My mouth was so sore I couldn't eat or drink - unless it is an emergency leave the dentist visit until baby had arrived.

During the second trimester we also made huge inroads into baby names and settled on a boy and girl name, we told no one. But I think I did let it slip once!

And in a flash the second trimester was over and we were staring at the few weeks left till we met our Baby Boo!

**This post relates to 2014 ***

Also check out: 
12 Things to do in the second trimester
The First 12 weeks
First Maternity Hospital Visit
Maternity Wear Essentials