The Honeymoon of Pregnancy: The second trimester

The second trimester is really the honeymoon of the pregnancy journey. You have passed the first test - getting through the first 12 weeks and you begin to come to terms with your bundle, getting to know s/he, feeling movement, dreaming about the future and getting comfortable before the impatience, frustrations and pains set in!

Heading to a wedding at 13 weeks pregnant

The second trimester greeted me with a little boost of energy, which I lavished in until about 20 weeks, when I once again had to take to bed for early evening cat naps after work.

My weight gain over the first 12 weeks was about 5lbs, but by the end of the second trimester I had piled on a stone.

At the start a little back pain, stretch aches and some sleep disturbance was met with intrigue, but as time slipped by I was plagued by pain cause by Smphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD). At 4 months pregnant, I was starting to look the part and by 5 months I was moving into bigger sized and looser clothes with some maternity items on board.

I had no particular cravings, I just loved all food and wanted more! The only food aversion I had was to coffee - which really was a good thing. At a wedding, I took a glass of wine with the dinner but I had no desire for alcohol.

Baby kicks - what a wonderful moment it is when you start feeling those first flutters. They are hard to explain, but felt like popcorn popping inside! As time goes on the kicks felt like a slight muscle spasm. I remember feeling as if the baby was leaning to one side, and getting a strange ‘stretch’ feeling on my left side … which would become more apparent later!

On honeymoon in Greece

I had my first two hospital visits in the second trimester, which I will write more about later. In between the visits I also went away on a late honeymoon … a sort of babymoon, details here. We went on a Greek Island cruise and it was soo relaxing - a short trip away during your pregnancy is very much recommended.

At around 20 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed with smphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD), I was in a lot of pain, had to take time off work and started to see a special maternity physio in hospital once a week. During the peak of my SPD pain, I went on a buying spree for baby. It felt necessary as the threat of crutches or bed rest towards the end of my pregnancy was looming. Buying baby stuff was tooo much fun, a little stressful, but a very happy time.

I took up pregnancy yoga at around 16 weeks, it was fantastic as a way to relax and prepare for labour but agitated my SPD as the weeks went on.

20 weeks pregnant

My husband and I started to drift further and further apart …. ha ha - only in the sense that our bed was now totally taken over with pillows!! I had to have one in front of me, one behind me and one between my legs - but it did help me sleep!

I had two very scary moments during my second trimester, one was a showing of brown discharge and the other was a horrific trip to the dentist. The brown discharge, turned out to be “nothing”, I attended the doctor and heard the baby’s heartbeat and it was clear in a day. The doctor explained that it was probably ‘marginal placental bleed’ which is harmless and is caused by a burst blood vessel from my placenta or my placenta moving into place. I was told to rest and to return to the doctor if I saw any fresh blood or had cramping. My advise if you get any strange colouring down there, see your doctor, if only for the peace of mind.

24 weeks pregnant

My trip to the dentist was the worst day of my entire pregnancy. My gums were bleeding a lot so I went to get a check up and get my teeth cleaned. It was nothing short of TORTURE. I was so scared and in pain the whole way through, I thought it would never end. The only reason I didn't stop the dentist, was I kept thinking about labour, how I will be in so much more pain - so I let her go on, with no pain relief. My gums were left black and they bled for 24 hours afterwards. My mouth was so sore I couldn't eat or drink - unless it is an emergency leave the dentist visit until baby had arrived.

During the second trimester we also made huge inroads into baby names and settled on a boy and girl name, we told no one. But I think I did let it slip once!

And in a flash the second trimester was over and we were staring at the few weeks left till we met our Baby Boo!

**This post relates to 2014 ***

Also check out: 
12 Things to do in the second trimester
The First 12 weeks
First Maternity Hospital Visit
Maternity Wear Essentials

Searching for the perfect honeymoon

Picking a honeymoon destination is one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. 
(Yes I live a lovely, fluffy, care free life!)

As we had a destination wedding in January, we decided it would be nice to come home and have a honeymoon to look forward to later in the year. I also knew I would need to occupy my once filled wedding brain with something post nuptials.

But it is oh so difficult to pick a destination.

I already have my own personal top three honeymoon location:

-Cuba

-Egypt

-Fiji

But the issue is, we have already been to these locations.

Driving along the rural roads in Cuba

Before the wedding, we had thought that Vietnam would be an ideal location. Asia intrigues us both and this beautiful country would allow us adventure, relaxation and culture.

But now that the grand event is over (and all the money is spent!) the gloss is wearing off it. Flights are expensive, we only have two weeks to play with and we have a conflict with the ‘best time of year’ to visit.

Giza Pyramids, Egypt 2012

So now my mind has been refocused back to Europe and the Middle East. There are some fab beaches and resorts scattered about this continent and obviously there is culture and history galore to explore, but which one do I pick for a honeymoon?

Ideally we would like to do some sightseeing, partake in a fun activity and spend a few days relaxing.

Fiji islands, 2008

Crete, Sicily, Croatia, Malta, Greek islands, Jordan and Tunisia are all on my radar.

Do any of you have any tips, advice or indeed destinations you would think suitable?

Jumping ship - A Wedding Abroad

Less than a month after my own magical Winter Wedding in Courmayeur, Italy I want to impart my advice and lessons learned from organising a Winter/ Snow/ Ski Wedding abroad.

If you are engaged or planning on getting married soon, congratulations! Although you will feel some stress and worry as the months slip by, you will look back fondly on this time, so do try to enjoy it all!

If you are not getting married soon, but just stumbled upon this post, congratulations to you also and enjoy reading (try some others posts too!)

1. Wedding Abroad

The decision to have your wedding abroad can for some be obvious but for others may take some time. Everyone has their own reasons for deciding to jump ship, but just make sure that BOTH of you really want to do this.

This is important because as soon as you announce the decision, people will be disappointed, they will question your choice and they will tell you that you are being selfish ...be strong and be sure.

The major qualm for most people about weddings abroad is that you must realise loved older members of your family may not be able to attend, and despite giving people plenty of time and trying to keep costs down some of your good friends may not be able to attend.

If you are BOTH ok with this, then congrats you on the way to your fairytale wedding!

www.lorenzophotography.it

2. Location Location

Sun, snow, sea, mountains, lakes, castles … what do you want from your location?

We wanted snow, so when looking at locations that was our first demand. Then we wanted a ski resort, the ability to get married in a Catholic Church, Euro currency and easy access for guests (a good frequency of flights, short transfer etc)

Know your priorities, keep them small and then make your lists. This is fun and frustrating, use the internet, but be thorough.

Once you have the most suitable country or area then you need to start trawling the internet for reviews, ideas and inspiration.

3. Get a Wedding Planner

Yes they are expensive, but they are worth every penny.

If you are someone who does not speak the language, are not native and have never organised a wedding before, then going without a planner is a very brave choice. For us there was no other option, especially as snow destination weddings are a little unusual. A wedding planner will help, advise, warn, suggest and book all parts of your wedding.

Religious and/or civil paperwork, logistics and wedding details all come under their remit and you will feel better knowing they will be there on the day to sort out any problems as they crop up.

4. Lose control

I am the sort of person who feels that if I want something done right, then only I can do it.

But with a foreign wedding I couldn't do everything, I could actually do very little and so I had to lose control. I had a vision for the wedding, I shared that vision with the planner, the hotel, the photographer, the florist etc but I had no control over their interpretation of it. I had to let go, look at the bigger picture and hope that it all came together.

And it did and the wedding was better than anything I could have imagined.

(c) fifiheavey 2014

5. Prepare for Questions

Everyone will have questions, different questions, sensible ones, outrageous ones and some that will fill you with anger. This is all part of a foreign wedding, the more guests you have travelling the more questions there will be.

Write out information to go out with your invite, set up a website (www.mywedding.com ) set up a Facebook Group and keep everyone informed.

Also maybe take a bath and try to stay calm when people ask questions that you can’t answer, there will be many!

6. Remember your partner

Try not to have a greater relationship with your wedding planner than you do with your actual partner! Keep him/her involved, make sure you both get to make decisions and have input. Most men like to tell everyone their girlfriend is planning the wedding, but they really do want to be involved. It is nice to know that parts of the wedding reflect you both.

7. Money

You thought I forgot to say budget didn't you …?! Budgets are so important, especially when for many money is tight. But I hate to say that despite readjusting our budget several times, we went over it significantly and I understand most couples do the same. 

Remember that no one will recall the flower arrangements or the quality of paper in the ceremony booklet, they will remember how much or little fun they had and how happy the couple looked.

We were worried about paying all our suppliers before the wedding, but were delighted when we travelled there it was all done and dusted.

8. Visit the location

You must visit the location of your wedding, before the big event. Not only will be able to see all the locations, you will be able to speak with (learn a little of the language if necessary) with some of your suppliers. Visiting will help put your mind at ease, the place is real, the people do exist, your wedding is going to happen. It will also allow you to get excited and give you and your partner a little vacation time!

9. Honeymoon

So you are going abroad to get married - will you stay there for your honeymoon? Are you ok with your friends and family being there with you? If you do a ski holiday like we did it was perfect, but maybe a beach holiday with everyone might be a bit much. Do try to get some time alone with your new husband/ wife. Otherwise delaying your honeymoon is a popular choice, so when you get home you have something to look forward to.

10. Relax and Enjoy

Part of the reason we chose to get wed abroad was to try and skip the stress. It worked too, although we had to calm down everyone around us, we sailed through the experience. Make sure everything is ready to go, try and arrive at the destination a few days before to check everything out and to settle in.

If you are here for the snow or the sun please do get out and enjoy it.

I will be posting more details on our snow wedding, Courmayeur and skiing in the next few posts, so stay tuned!