Knowing me and knowing Ski

When you travel you learn about places, people and things from all over the world, but you also learn about yourself. Months on the road, by yourself, with people in good places and bad you come to terms with who you really are.

You learn things about yourself that you never knew. Some good, some bad.

I have always known that I am organised, efficient, and at my worst: scheduled, but what I didn't know was my issue with control – more exactly my fear of not being in control.

Learning to let go on The Remarkables, New Zealand (c)fifiheavey

Of course on the road, you plan things and more often than not they do not go according to plan and despite some dismay at this (maybe a few hissy fits) I grew accustomed to things steering off course. I quickly adapted, and put a plan B, C or even Z into place. But even when things don't go as planned, you can stay in control, you can re-direct the troops and carry on, re-focused.

Concentrating (c) fifiheavey

“Let go”

“Relax”

“Stop Thinking”

“Go with the flow”

On top of a snow covered mountain in New Zealand, hurtling towards the bottom at what must be record speeds with no plan, no idea, no alternative to my disposal, my nightmare was realised.

My ski instructor told me I had “control issues.”

You see skiing is fun, or at least it is supposed to be, you the skis, a snowcapped mountain and the fresh air. In this game however you have to submit your control, you have to go with the mountain, the skis, ignore your instinct thoughts ... relax ... glide ... smile ... stop.

I wanted to have fun, I wanted to have so much fun with everyone else and enjoy skiing. I wanted to excel through my beginners group to intermediate with my boyfriend, I wanted to show that I was better than some seven year old brat - so I concentrated really hard to get all the moves, to learn how to sweep from side to side and stop before I feel off the edge.

Ski lifts on The Remarkables (c) fifiheavey

The ski instructor told me I was trying too much, I needed to let go.

This concept was alien to me.

In the videos I look rigid, stiff, my turns are forced, my feet locked into a “wedge” shape. I wore the bruises from the ski lifts for weeks, the trauma of having to hurtle my body forward seconds before I fell to my death across a cliff took longer to disappear. But the effects of not being able to “let go” have never left me.

Over and over, I recall children diving to get out of my way, ski couples huddling in fear, and teenagers gasping in shock as I fly my way down an intermediate slope and throw myself to the ground, as my boyfriend laughs himself into a hoop.

Snowboarding as the morning sun breaks out.
(c) fifiheavey

Sometimes having fun can be hard work – I knew I should have picked snow boarding!

Go it alone!

So you have decided to travel solo this year, whether it is a weekend away, a holiday, a GAP year or career move the most essential thing you need to bring with you is confidence.

Going along can be daunting, but it will be an experience well worth it. A trawl through the Internet will give you lots of handy tips and advice for travelling solo, here I will part with some of my own gems which I have gained through my unique adventures for one.

Also if you are undecided about where to go, below is a list of my favourite solitude treasure locations.

• First of all be confident and sure about your decision to go travelling solo and the destinations you have chosen, if you are just doing it to strike it off some mental list then step away and look a little deeper.
• Organisation is key, make sure you have your trip itinerary well worked out in advance, make sure some family or friends know where you will be and keep them updated on any changes.
• 

  Making Friends in Dresden (c) fifiheavey

  Finance – travelling is never cheap. Always try to budget more than you expect to spend, you don't want to be caught out short. My tip would be to always carry a little of the local currency in cash. Split cash and bank cards and credit cards between different bags, pockets – so you are never left without if the unfortunate happens.
• Flash jewelery and accessories are not an essential part of travelling, try not to draw attention to yourself.
• Blend in – this is always easier said than done. But head in a guide book gives the game away, so too does snapping away at everything with your camera, but you will need to do both to find your way and to document your stay. Try to research your area and get direction in private and the smaller the camera the better, try not to keep it on show also. Also for most destinations a suitcase is better than a backpack.
• Dress appropriate – I have seen this tip exclusive for women on other sites but it applies to males too, take a glimpse at locals and everyone else around you and find something in between.

• 

  Try not flash your cash, but always a carry a little local currency (c) fifiheavey
  

  Many people find it difficult to eat alone, but you will get used to it, bring reading material along, a local newspaper will help you blend in, sit outside or at the bar – confidence is important here!

• Keep a journal – for no other reason but to document your journey. I kept a load of info in mine and it used to refresh my memory when needed – like what was the name of that nice man in the shop etc.
• For the ladies: if you feel a little uncomfortable in a strange country wear a ring on your wedding finger.
• Start inventing stories, about your boyfriend, friend, family etc you need to have excuses ready.
• Learn the basics of the local language.
• Make friends
• Upload photos from your camera regularly so if you lose or break it your whole trip is not wiped.
• Leave your ignorance and innocence at home, come prepared mentally to see and be involved in things you wouldn't usually be, don't' try and inflict your culture on others.
• Relax and enjoy!

If you are looking for a great solo travel destination, I would urge you to check out some of these:

Rome, Italy – you will never feel alone here, among the throngs of tourists discover this ancient city and all it's treasures.

Solo feels so good! Rome, Italy (c) fifiheavey

Paris, France – Known as the most romantic destination in the world, it is also a haven for solo travellers, cut through the mush and experience the city of lights.

Berlin, Germany – This city surprised and intrigued me every day of my visit, day exploration and a night life to beat no other.

New York, USA – It is impossible to be spotted as a solo traveller in this fast paced city, see everything and do it all on your time!

Melbourne, Australia – Unforgettable. Culture vultures will love this place which has drama and art on every corner.

Queenstown, New Zealand – Looking for adventure and want to make friends? This is your destination!

Go Your Own Way: Women Travel the World Solo